How do I sum up my 10 year old in one blog post? He's pretty much an only child, with a much older half-sister living 700 miles away. Of course I think he is awesome. He is a lot like his mother, after all. He's smart and funny. He mastered sarcasm at a very early age and loves to play practical jokes. His hobbies include dismantling electronics, building things with (real and virtual) blocks, and honing his video game skills.
Hambone has always hated school. Pre-K was okay for him but once he hit Kindergarten, he struggled with the social aspects of education. He had difficulty making friends. By second grade, he became a victim of bullying. He has little patience for other children distracting him. Or "annoying" him, as he calls it. He would get irritated easily. He kept to himself a lot, especially during recess. He was aware enough of his impatience to try his best to avoid the kids who bothered him. I thought he was doing fine, until I got a call from the school when he was in second or third grade. The principal told me Hambone had "lashed out" at a group of students. It was a bit of a verbal meltdown. Why? Because Hambone was lying on the ground during recess and the kids were calling him "roadkill" for the entire day. That was the first time I thought that the public school might not be the right environment for him. I encouraged him to keep trying, to ignore the stupid kids, but I think that was a turning point for him, too. From then on, he became more and more irritated with his peers.
Even from first grade, his teachers would tell me he wasn't putting forth his best effort academically. He required a lot of prompting to even complete his work. He got good grades and always tested well, so I was never concerned about learning disabilities. I did end up getting him into therapy to try to deal with his "outbursts" in the classroom. He is so easily frustrated, by other kids or by his own "deficiencies" outside of the classroom. He's the type of kid who gets upset if he doesn't master a skill immediately or when people are being "unfair" in play. These things led to outbursts in and out of school. His outbursts usually consist of screaming, throwing things, and smashing (his own) things. He has broken more than a few Xbox controllers and other electronic devices. He cries easily. He likes being in control. When he has friends over and they don't want to play what he wants to play, it can be torture for everyone around.
Things are better when he is not in school or at summer camp. I don't wake up in the morning, wondering what time I'll get the call from the school that there has been an "incident" with Hambone. I think we have an excellent school system for most kids. I just don't think it's good for Hambone. He likes learning on his own. He knows things I had no idea he knew. And none of it came from school.
Hambone isn't good at, or at all interested in, sports. He hated P.E. with a passion, and would often refuse to participate. He can't ride a bike - he flat out refuses to learn. He enjoyed roller skating for a while. But, like with the bike, he is afraid of getting hurt. He is a really big kid for his age, and I'm really trying to get both of us eating better and more active.
He is still seeing a therapist, as well as a psychiatrist. Years of therapy hadn't improved how he deals with his frustrations, and he was finally diagnosed with ADHD. His first therapist suspected it early on, as did I, but we were both hesitant to give him an official diagnosis. When I finally decided we needed to at least try medication, I allowed an official label. He was prescribed Strattera at the end of 4th grade. I didn't notice any change in behavior at home, and it was hard to say about school because he was only there a couple weeks so he was away from his triggers. After some research and talking to other parents of ADHD children, I asked Hambone's psychiatrist to let us try Focalin for his outbursts. After some resistance on the doctor's part and demanding on mine, he agreed to let us try that, in addition to the Strattera. A few weeks after school starts, we are going to re-evaluate. He hasn't started the Focalin yet, mainly because I haven't received the prescription from the doctor to take the pharmacy. It's been two weeks - just more that has me shaking my head and sighing over how useless our mental health office is here.
I could find another therapist and another psych, but I really think I want to take him off medications. In my mind, I'm committed to trying until Winter Break. I know Hambone doesn't like taking medication. He says it doesn't make him feel any different, and it's just one more thing for us to have to remember to do.
And this is only the real "complaint" I have about Hambone. Everything else is gravy. He once put clear tape across my bedroom door so I would walk into it. He put tape over the laser of my mouse and I spent an hour cursing at the stupid device and trouble shooting on my computer. He surprises me with perfectly made cups of coffee. He writes grocery lists and builds crazy contraptions. Today he came to me and said he wanted to slide down the stairs, so tomorrow we are going to build sleds out of various materials to see which ones slide better. He invents recipes and is very responsible when I can't be with him.
He's an amazing kid.
